November 02, 2012

Not Feeling Comfortable In My Hair



Facebook question: I have been natural for 3 years now after wearing my hair in a perm all of my life.  In that time I’ve experienced growth like never before which is great.  I receive many compliments and most days I think it looks ok.  I guess I am still not used to it and don’t really feel myself after all this time.  What can I do to feel better and less self-conscious about my natural hair?  I never felt like this before I went natural so it’s not a self-esteem issue.

I don’t think this is really an uncommon feeling for new(er) naturals.  Especially if you are used to a certain look – it is sometimes difficult to deal with change, especially physically, while maintaining your confidence.  Here are a few suggestions that address the aesthetic uncertainties you are having.

1.     Plan for greatness every single time.

Go all out no matter the occasion.  Dressing down your look or downplaying your beautiful texture should never be an option.  Styling with a purpose and owning your look will make you feel better inside and out.

2.    Tailor your look to fit the event.

Whether it’s casual or formal, your coils and curls can adapt.  Strategic styling can make all the difference in your final look.  What is the occasion? How long will the event last? Is it taking place indoors or outdoors? If you are attending a wedding, you may opt for something more intricate and feminine. If your destination is a casual gathering, perhaps you can afford to be a little more laid back.

3.    Use your wardrobe as inspiration.

You’d be surprised how you can take one piece from your closet and build an entire look, head to toe around it.  Anchor your look with a key piece and build your hairstyle from there.

4.     Always have an LBD  

Be sure to have a “go to” look.  Having a plan B, when all else fails look, the LBD (little black dress) of hairstyles is your reminder that if you stay ready you never have to get ready.  Whether it’s a messy bun or a adding a fly turban, it will look good no matter what else is happening around you.  A full proof look can take you from the football game to the office.


5.     Add a touch of glam.

Accessories are a simple way of dotting your “I’s” and crossing your “T’s”.  They have a huge impact on your final look.  For example, stylish headpieces command attention and add the perfect finishing touch.

 
6.     Be sexy with it.

Don’t forget to embrace you and all that you represent whatever that means for you,  which always comes off as sexy and exudes confidence.
 

7.     Accentuate what you consider you strengths and cover up or tweak your not so desirable traits. 

No one is perfect so we all have to work with what we have.  Don’t like your lose wave pattern? Opt for a twist out instead for tighter curl formation.  Not fond of your tighter coils? Stretch the hair by braiding, banding or any of the many methods for stretching.


“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.”

It's Friday so remember to check me out over on CurlyNikki!
 

What tips can you add to help when you’re not feeling yourself?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been natural my whole life and have pretty much ever only worn 'fros, braids/twists with my natural hair, and the occasional twist with extenstions-- it's what suits my personality and my face and my wardrobe. The fact of the matter is that, you should by no means hate your natural hair/look, but it might not be your best look. Just because it grows out of her head doesn't mean it's what flatters your style/face/lifestyle the most-- isn't that why lots of people [black, white, and in between?] dye their hair, curl it sometimes, straighten it other times, wear wigs, etc. ? It's a billion dollar industry! So, I say go ahead and wear it straight [lots of heat protectant,and in frequent heat sessions, for health] or dyed and don't fall victim to feeling like you're rejecting the natural you [b/c i'm sure some nazi somewhere will give you grief for it...] rather than enhancing it and using the tools available to you to make you comfortable. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

LADIES, WE DON'T GO NATURAL WE ARE NATURAL.