January 23, 2012

Not Many People Can Sport That “I Just Don’t Care Look”

So who isn’t in love with Rachel True’s beautiful huge head of hair?!  I admit I did not watch the episodes when they were on however now that the reruns come on every day on TVone, I am a huge fan.  Mona, played by Rachel True and her sister, Dee Dee, played by Essence Atkins couldn’t be more opposite!  In fact, the only thing they have in common is their father.  I was watching an episode called “The Big In With The In Crowd” where Mona is hanging out with Dee Dee and her group of friends and it is almost immediately apparent that they are not her type and the feeling is mutual.  Wouldn’t you know it, the one other sista in the group has something negative to say. 

“That is some hair, you know the natural bed head look is all over the magazines” – at first this resembles a compliment right?  Until she hits her with “not many people can sport that "I just don’t care look”. 
Quite “naturally” I am completely tuned in to that statement.  I have been hit with a few negative comments as well.  This particular episode was filmed in 2002 which is when I started my natural hair journey.  I thought it was pretty dead on accurate as to the attitude towards natural hair.  If you’ve never seen the episode, feel free to click here and check it out.  Still love Rachel’s hair and skin.
P.S. Whatever happened to Chico Benymon, aka Spencer.  Yeah he was corny but I liked him.  I know he sings and I did catch him on an episode of The Game when Tasha Mack went to some retreat. 
What ignorant a$$ comments has someone said to you and how did you respond?  How do you cope?


Happynappy2009 said...

Ignorant comments come on a daily!!! I think my all time fav was when an olllllllllld black lady walked up to me WHILE touching my hair and said "girl that's so pretty I just knew it was a wig, it should be a wig. Does your hair just grow like that?" After I composed myself and realized that this lady is old enough to be my great-grandmother I simply replied "yes ma'am". Gotta love old people.

Curly Chic said...

@Happynappy2009 hey sis!Crazy right?! Some of the stuff I hear I would NEVER fix my mouth to say.Older people always feel like they have a license to say whatever is on their mind. You did the right thing! :)LOL

Anonymous said...

I started my natural hair journy last year and my tight curls, when unraveled come to my shoulders. Just yesterday, one of my black male co-workers said in front of all of my white co-workers that I needed a perm, hot comb or jerri curl because I didn't have good hair. When I told him there was no such thing as good or bad hair and to describe what good hair was, he stated that our secretary who is light skinned with wavy hair has good hair. "Hair that rolls off when water hits it is bad hair," he said. Mind you, he is dark skinned, all of the women he calls pretty are light with long hair, weaves, or wavy hair and you can tell he spends hours at home creating waves with a doo rag and grease. I also told him that good hair was our (black people) perception passed on since the days of slavery to set us against each other. I even sent him an article on it to which he replied, "Blah, Blah, Blah. He didn't want to hear about it." When I told him there was nothing wrong with my hair, he again said in front of white colleagues, "If only you could see what we see. I know they're just being polite, but they think the same way I do." One of my white colleagues told him to speak for himself while laughing. I too lauaghed but was very hurt and insulted. I went home to my boyfriend who happens to be Mexican and LOVES my hair asking him if my hair was an embarrassment to him. He was insulted and told me my hair was beautiful and he loves my curlies. I was reassured. The very next day a lady at work who has permed hair told me that she liked my hair. I know I should always feel proud and confident about my hair but the validation I received from my boyfriend and the lady at work re-built my self esteem and encouraged me to keep on keepin' on.

milian bonillo said...

@ anonymous: I think it's fine for each of us to have an opinion, such as in the case of your co-worker. There is also an appropriate time and place for voicing one's opinion. At work, whether others are around or not, IS NOT ONE OF THEM. The comments your associate made regarding an aspect of your appearance is completely inappropriate and grounds for a lawsuit/dismissal. I am not saying you should attempt to have this person removed from his position, however, human resources should be notified. If you feel you "don't want to make a big deal about it", that's understandable. It makes sense anyone in your shoes would prefer to just move on, however, I am
concerned this "gentleman" will continue with the harassment. Let human resources know, calmly, about the incident(s) and have them add the information to his file to start a paper trail. If he ceases with the personal appearance critiques that's great. If not, he will have to take responsibility for his lack of understanding of when, where and with whom his personal opinions are to be expressed. I think being natural is healthy and beautiful. Keep believing in yourself and continue enjoying the gifts with which nature has blessed you.